fertility news

Fertility is a basic right that most people take for granted so when a couple is unable to conceive it usually comes as a great shock to them. In addition to the sense of shock and disbelief, it is quite common to feel anger and the target/s of this anger may be your partner, the medical staff, or all of the fertile people in your community. Most importantly, infertile couples experience many losses on many different levels. The emotional response to loss is mourning and grieving however there are none of the traditional rites or rituals typically associated with grieving and loss to help the infertile mourn the loss of the “dream child” they so desire.

More often than not the couple doesn’t acknowledge these painful feelings and emotions to themselves, their partners, family or friends so they go unrecognized and create a sense of isolation that can become unhealthy. Infertility treatment impacts you physically, emotionally and financially and has been described by many couples as an emotional roller coaster ride with many ups, downs and turns along the way. It is important to remember that these feelings are normal and that you are not alone.

You and your partner are going through this together however you may be at different stages emotionally. Some important tips to help you along the way include:

• Keeping the lines of communication open
• Creating an atmosphere in which each partner feels comfortable sharing
• Avoiding blame since no one chooses to be infertile
• Being available to comfort and encourage each other when one of you gets discouraged
• Remembering that sex is not just for procreation and to put a little romance back in your lives
• Setting mutually acceptable goals for treatment

Sharing with others is a great way to “normalize” the feelings you are experiencing. For some couples family and friends may be a valuable support network. For others who are unwilling or unable to share with family/friends, counseling or support groups may be beneficial. Many clinics have a mental health professional on staff that runs support groups while others refer patients to groups run by Resolve and the American Fertility Association. Groups can be a great source of information, as well as help reduce the sense of isolation you feel, teach you new ways to cope with the emotions and most importantly make you realize that your experience and feelings are normal.

Treatment cycles can be very stressful leaving you frustrated and exhausted at times. Focus on the long term goals you and your partner have set and remember that it may take more than one cycle to achieve your goal.

REFERENCE: Organon patient booklet: Treatment Guide